tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-81504969586503252102024-03-12T20:58:15.331-05:00Father's BlogSharing my thoughts on Family, Fatherhood, and Life.dubkdad1http://www.blogger.com/profile/18178039852422062947noreply@blogger.comBlogger13125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150496958650325210.post-33597703541465005712013-03-25T02:02:00.000-05:002013-03-25T02:02:30.729-05:00UpdateHey guys, sorry I've been away. I'll be posting regularly starting with 3 articles this week and a new video on my channel. Stay tuned!dubkdad1http://www.blogger.com/profile/18178039852422062947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150496958650325210.post-82433499988383723992012-07-26T13:54:00.000-05:002012-07-26T13:54:04.261-05:00Daddy BluesNot as common as Mommy blues, but still just as real. My oldest son Airman P.L. Alexander has been stationed in Okinawa, Japan. While I'm extremely proud and optimistic for his future, the Daddy in me is scared sick! Kids grow up so fast. I remember there was a time when he was only allowed to play in the fenced in backyard. When he was old enough to ride his bike, he had to stay within sight of the house. Meaning that if coulcn't see the house, he was too far away. Indeed his mother and I raised a fine young man, who is worthy of my respect and the respect of this country for his service to the country. I salute you son!dubkdad1http://www.blogger.com/profile/18178039852422062947noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150496958650325210.post-48810358423398414662011-08-27T21:05:00.000-05:002011-08-27T21:05:06.913-05:00Loving More Than One WomanHer: Do you still love her?<br />
You: No! <br />
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I don't know why we lie when women ask us that question. Well, I understand why. We don't want to hurt our special lady's feelings. But the truth of the matter is this: Feelings don't just disappear because you ended a relationship. Over the course of the relationship the connections you made with her family and friends stay with you forever. Also, factor in the children you shared with that person. Can you honestly say to yourself that you DO NOT love the woman that gave birth to your children or spent X amount of years with? <br />
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<a name='more'></a> I've been in a few long term relationships. Each of them have had their trials and tribulations. We all know that when you experience hard times with someone and then make it through to the other side, it solidifies that relationship. From when my Grandma died in '96 to when my Mother died in '03, the woman I was with at the time stood through it with me and helped me cope. In recent years, I was in a relationship with woman and through no fault of our own, we ended up homeless for a short period of time. We burned up all of our savings going from hotel to hotel trying to find a new place, paying ridiculous application fees. Eventually, we found a place and appreciated each for sticking around for the good times and the bad. Are these the type of women that you just stop loving?<br />
If you are divorced or separated from the mother of your children then you should definitely be able to identify with this scenario. You get a call late at night from one of your kids telling you that something is wrong with Mommy. Part of you could give a damn, but the memories of times when she came to your rescue come flooding to your head and you get concerned. You know that the Right thing to do is to make sure that your child is ok and part of that includes making sure her mommy is ok. It is at this point your current woman will raise holy hell because she can't understand why you alway jump up when Ex has an emergency. It is my honest belief that a woman would be happy to know that even after the relationship is over that you would be willing to drop what you are doing and make sure she is safe. That is love.<br />
All of this does not mean that you should stay "in love" with women from past relationships. Love and "in Love" are very different. Being "in Love" causes you to begin the relationship in the first place and when that level of love fades, it usually ends in a break up. Notice I said fade, I don't ever think the love dies. It may not be enough to warrant a relationship, but it is enough to occupy even the smallest part of your heart.dubkdad1http://www.blogger.com/profile/18178039852422062947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150496958650325210.post-58053860434443114862011-08-07T15:15:00.000-05:002011-08-07T15:15:33.729-05:00Dealing With Blended Families - The Children part 1A blended family is a family with children from different relationships. The woman you are with has children from a different relationship, you have children from a different relationship, and finally the children from the current relationship. These situations are naturally a nightmare for people to deal with. The children are often insecure with things and often fight between themselves. The couple struggles to show all of the children that there are no favorites. Finally, the absent parent struggles to deal with their child being in the middle of all your mess.<br />
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<a name='more'></a> It has been my experience that you can only do what YOU feel is right. Jealously and pent up anger will make dealing with the absent parent impossible. A woman's inherent need to protect her child will prevent your woman from understanding your compaints about the treatment of her "step children." <br />
You never want to hide anything from your mate, but sometimes you have to pick your fights. As a man, you don't want to be so petty as to keep a balance sheet on how you interact with the children. But to keep track of your time, you have to be aware of how you are spending it with all children involved. Remeber that if you did such a thing as make a balance sheet, I promise you that it won't matter to any of the mothers involved. I can also garauntee that the children won't care about a balance sheet. You have to approach it with a good heart and be totally honest with yourself.<br />
Some of the things I find myself being aware of making sure that I can spend one on one time with the children individually. It may be hard because of distance or age of the child but it is necessary whenever possible. This type of thing embeds deep memories in your child. This is important because as they get older they can reflect on those special times and understand that Daddy does love them and he has done things in the past to prove it. <br />
Another thing that I have done in the past is to have unique nicknames for all of the kids. To me, this lets my kids know that when I address them by their nickname that I am in a playful or relaxed mood and if they want to discuss something important with me, I will be receptive without judgment. It is just another one of those things that lets my babies know that they are important to me.<br />
Whether you want to admit it or not, prejudice exists. For the most part, there will always be struggle to be as fair to your biological children as you are to your step children. Hell, sometimes you struggle to be even handed to the biological children of the current relationship as you are to your biological children of a previous relationship. It is so hard keep everyone happy and once again, this is where being honest with yourself and just doing what you feel is best comes into play.<br />
You have to be sure you don't over compensate. I found myself being so impossibly tough on my oldest son. The expectations I put on him in comparison to my step children and other biological children were just illogical. Looking at it now, I know I was wrong and have since apologized to my oldest. Only time will tell if the damage done is reversible. Yeah, I'm nowhere close to being perfect.<br />
Over compensation is also harmful when you are too lenient on the children. Letting your step children get away with things because you want to score points with mom or because you don't want them to hate you does noone any good. If the children hate you because you are enforcing already established rules, then so be it because they will understand that after it was all said and done, you were always consistent. <br />
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As I re-read this article before I post it, I see that I am treading on dangerous ground. Most of my kids are old enough to read, understand, and possilby refute the claims I make in this article. Also, I open myself to a barrage of headaches from the mothers of all my children. This cannot be avoided as the sole purpose of this blog is to share my experiences hoping that they will help someone else, while at the same time hoping that someone may have an experience to share that will help me. I hope you like this article. Stay tuned for updates. <br />
dubkdad1http://www.blogger.com/profile/18178039852422062947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150496958650325210.post-35623542374713770122011-08-02T18:41:00.000-05:002011-08-02T18:41:24.658-05:00Too Many Babies, Not Enough TimeBeing with a woman who has children from a previous relationship can be difficult. Especially if you too have children from a previous relationship. There are always that fear in the back of your mind that you may be spending more time with this "woman's" child than your own, or that your children may be jealous of the fact that there are other children occupying your free time. <br />
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How do you cope with this? How do you assure your children that you love them and noone can replace them? How do you assure your "step" children that you love them DESPITE the circumstances? Finally, how do you assure Baby Mamma and Wifey that you are NOT showing favoritism? Well over the next few weeks, I will share some of my experiences with these issues. So please check in regularly.dubkdad1http://www.blogger.com/profile/18178039852422062947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150496958650325210.post-37022907806404405732011-08-02T18:33:00.001-05:002011-08-02T18:41:42.205-05:00Getting My Groove BackI decided a month ago that I would get my groove back by working out on a consistent basis and taking better care of myself. You see as men get older, they tend to get lazy. It hurts to admit it, but it's true. Your testosterone decreases, your metabolism slows down, and you just don't have energy. I woke up one day and looked in the mirror and was disgusted in what I saw and said to myself, "NO MORE!"<br />
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Right now I'm hovering between 212lbs and 217lbs down from 222lbs a month ago. It seems that when I eat I instantly gain 5 pounds. So I've been making sure to weigh myself 1st thing in the morning before I eat breakfast. My goal is to get down to 175lbs or at least a size 32 waist size size I realize that muscle is heavier than fat.<br />
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I want to look and feel sexy again. I remember how it felt when I was younger and more fit and I would walk by a group of women and I could sense them staring. I'm not trying to pick women up, but I would like to feel desired. This leads me to the final thing, self-conciousness. I have so many clothes in my closest that I refuse to wear because I don't like the way my belly pokes out or how tight the pants are around my legs. I think that IF I can get a handle on this now, I can avert a midlife crisis.dubkdad1http://www.blogger.com/profile/18178039852422062947noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150496958650325210.post-1002952993319801422010-09-24T17:30:00.000-05:002010-09-24T17:30:11.355-05:00CatsI think everyone knows about my cat Lyla, but what most people don't know is that I used to own Pit Bulls. You may ask, "How does one go from ownership of Pit Bulls, to caring for a cat?" Well to be honest, one day I just woke up and said hey, I must has a kittenz! Dogs and Cats are as different as night and day. For instance, when I owned pitbulls, my female named, Princess, was only concerned with pleasing master. She would do tricks, sit obediently while she waited to be fed, and wouldn't dare jump up on people or bark at other animals without permission. <br />
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Cats are SOOOOO not concerned with master. In fact, I don't even think you can be "cat owner". You are more like the cat's Human. I swear at times I can almost hear Lyla saying to me, "Human, I'm hungry...must has fudz NAO!" Other times she says to me, "Human, I am ready for some attention...ok enough attention leave me alone, NAO!" <br />
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All in all, I love my cat to death. Whether it be her HUGE Flea infestation incident or her insistence that she MUST climb upon every surface of the house, I will always be her hairless Human. Thanks for reading guys. Contact/add me on aim @ dubkdad1.<br />
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Peace,<br />
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-dubkdad1dubkdad1http://www.blogger.com/profile/18178039852422062947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150496958650325210.post-61727547090834939822010-06-30T00:48:00.000-05:002010-06-30T00:48:29.367-05:00Baby Blues - Part 1Every parent gets them. <br />
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Here are some of the biggest Baby Blues:<br />
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1) No more sleeping in.<br />
2) Dealing with the extra weight that Mommy has put on with the baby.<br />
3) Stinky diapers are STINKY!<br />
4) No more going out spontaneously.<br />
5) Baby sitters are EXPENSIVE!<br />
6) Formula stains everything it comes in contact with.<br />
7) You are officially old.<br />
8) You are no longer the most important thing in this world.<br />
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Luckily for me, I am not a rookie father. This is my fifth child and I am mature enough to cope with the baby blues. However, for new fathers, the blues are known to cause them to leave Mom hanging. Well guys, I'm here to tell you that the Baby Blues don't last forever. It's going to be extremely rough for the first few years. But when the little tyke gets to be in 1st grade and he reads his first story to you. You will realize that those Baby Blues were more than worth it.dubkdad1http://www.blogger.com/profile/18178039852422062947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150496958650325210.post-13847719366036886742010-04-18T00:15:00.000-05:002010-04-18T01:13:27.179-05:00Welcome to the Land of the Oxygen Breathers!I am pround to report that I am now the father of a new son.<br />
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</div><div style="border-bottom: medium none; border-left: medium none; border-right: medium none; border-top: medium none;"> Riley Louis was born on April 17 at 6:47pm. He was 6 lbs 15oz. Originally due April 13th or 14th, the doctor decided to induce labor to reduce the risk of potential health problems. 5am, Saturday morning, we made our way up to St Joseph's Medical Center for the induction. At about 7am, they ran Pitocin thru my wife's I.V. and nearly 12hrs later, Lil Man was born. Be sure to check out <a href="http://youtube.com/user/xxdubkdad1xx">my channel</a> and see video of the newest member of my family.</div>dubkdad1http://www.blogger.com/profile/18178039852422062947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150496958650325210.post-42667871040717304942010-03-12T12:15:00.001-06:002010-04-18T01:17:53.240-05:00Nesting...In my home, the spare bedroom is now known as Baby Central. Everything a baby could ever want or need is in there. This is the result of nesting.<br />
<a name='more'></a> I define nesting as something new and expecting mothers do in preparation for the arrival of the baby. Shopping...lots of shopping is involved. If any of you have kids, you probably remember what it was like. Buying the best baby bed. Buying the best stroller. Oh, and don't forget buying the best Bottles! I remember back in the seventies, all a baby needed was a few bottles, diapers, and a crib. Now they have entire stores dedicated to absorb mass amounts of money from your wallet. Years ago, a crib was less than $100...now you'll be lucky to find one under $300. Babies R Us, an expectant mom's paradise, has an entire baby bottle section. WTF? I'm not even going to mention the aisles upon aisles of designer baby clothes, diaper bags, and recieving blankets.<br />
Did you know that a hospital will not let you leave the hospital with your newborn without a Car Seat that has been inspected? Did you know that the baby beds that were in use, just 8 years ago, are now considered to be unsafe? Yes, I'm talking about the adjustable railed baby beds. So now you have to buy these enormous beds with high railing that makes it impossible for shorter people to reach their children. <br />
Thinking about all of this now, I feel so neglected and abused. I never once rode in a carseat as a child. I slept soundly at night in an adjustable railed baby bed. I used bottles that did not have "doctor" recommended niples. Hell, my blankie wasn't even fire resistant. To have any of the things occur in these days would land you in jail and your child in foster care. Well, I'm done ranting...I too darned excited to meet my new son. Check back often for updates.dubkdad1http://www.blogger.com/profile/18178039852422062947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150496958650325210.post-31846129276091889532010-01-27T18:52:00.000-06:002010-01-27T18:52:18.493-06:00They Grow Up Too Fast...I rem<span style="font-family: inherit;">ember there was a time when my youngest son thought girls were NASTY, but it seems now that he is going on 12, girls are AMAZING! So yeah, he has discovered the world of internet Porno and I just don't know what to do. Parental controls are a joke because, at his age, computers are second nature and he can easily bypass any password protection put in place. He's a tad to old for spankings now and grounding him may not do the trick. It's time like this that good old fashioned guilt comes into play. I believe guilt is a parents strongest weapon against their wayward children. It has to be used sparingly, however just like any other power, but when used properly its far more effective than anything. </span><br />
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Leave a comment about things you've been made to feel guilty about when you were a child and how it has affected you to this day.<br />
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-dubkdad1dubkdad1http://www.blogger.com/profile/18178039852422062947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150496958650325210.post-86776621222649521532009-11-23T03:11:00.000-06:002009-11-23T03:15:03.261-06:00Baby On Board =)Hey everyone. Here's an update! I have a 3rd son on the way. I will now be the father of 5 beautiful children. It's going to be hard, but I know that the Lord will find a way as he always have throughout the years. I'm both happy and scared because I haven't had a newborn in my care in about 11 years (my youngest is 11) and I'm a bit rusty. I'm not exactly looking forward to losing sleep and buying CASES of Pampers, but sigh, babies are so wonderful!<br /><br />Anyone else have a baby on the way? Comment below and tell how you feel about it.<br /><br />-dubkdad1dubkdad1http://www.blogger.com/profile/18178039852422062947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8150496958650325210.post-3159876289401422772009-11-10T13:12:00.000-06:002009-11-10T13:58:47.726-06:00Fathers Young and Old Unite!I started this blog because it seems that there are millions of resources for women and girls who become Mothers but hardly anything out there for Fathers. I want to help young fathers and first time fathers by sharing my experiences and seek advice from older fathers.<br /><br />I plan to share funny stories, sad stories, and just the plain truth with you all so follow me in this adventure called Fatherhood.<br /><br />-dubkdad1dubkdad1http://www.blogger.com/profile/18178039852422062947noreply@blogger.com0