Saturday, August 27, 2011

Loving More Than One Woman

Her: Do you still love her?
You: No!

I don't know why we lie when women ask us that question.  Well, I understand why.  We don't want to hurt our special lady's feelings.  But the truth of the matter is this:  Feelings don't just disappear because you ended a relationship.  Over the course of the relationship the connections you made with her family and friends stay with you forever.  Also, factor in the children you shared with that person.  Can you honestly say to yourself that you DO NOT love the woman that gave birth to your children or spent X amount of years with? 

  I've been in a few long term relationships.  Each of them have had their trials and tribulations.  We all know that when you experience hard times with someone and then make it through to the other side, it solidifies that relationship.  From when my Grandma died in '96 to when my Mother died in '03, the woman I was with at the time stood through it with me and helped me cope.  In recent years, I was in a relationship with woman and through no fault of our own, we ended up homeless for a short period of time.  We burned up all of our savings going from hotel to hotel trying to find a new place, paying ridiculous application fees.  Eventually, we found a place and appreciated each for sticking around for the good times and the bad.  Are these the type of women that you just stop loving?
  If you are divorced or separated from the mother of your children then you should definitely be able to identify with this scenario.  You get a call late at night from one of your kids telling you that something is wrong with Mommy.  Part of you could give a damn, but the memories of times when she came to your rescue come flooding to your head and you get concerned.  You know that the Right thing to do is to make sure that your child is ok and part of that includes making sure her mommy is ok.  It is at this point your current woman will raise holy hell because she can't understand why you alway jump up when Ex has an emergency.  It is my honest belief that a woman would be happy to know that even after the relationship is over that you would be willing to drop what you are doing and make sure she is safe.  That is love.
 All of this does not mean that you should stay "in love" with women from past relationships.  Love and "in Love" are very different.  Being "in Love" causes you to begin the relationship in the first place and when that level of love fades, it usually ends in a break up.  Notice I said fade, I don't ever think the love dies.  It may not be enough to warrant a relationship, but it is enough to occupy even the smallest part of your heart.

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